Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
