i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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