Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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