I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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