I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
