There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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