i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
