UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
