they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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