i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
