8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
send nudes
from the living room?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
