Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
