your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
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I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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