On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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