brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
