he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
