hotel room ftw
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
