dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
