My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize