I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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