White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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