So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
