in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
