tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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