i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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