i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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