Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer

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(512): Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer http://tfl.nu/pw3y

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(586): View more from Michigan

Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?

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(586): Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low? http://tfl.nu/jj2a

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(613): View more from Ontario

i told him im from Canada, abortion is free

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(613): i told him im from Canada, abortion is free http://tfl.nu/em2l

Replies (137) Good night (4394) Bad night (1130) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass

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(760): I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass http://tfl.nu/6hj6

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium

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(717): dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium http://tfl.nu/wa3w

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(925): View more from California

She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.

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(925): She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again. http://tfl.nu/nmj5

Replies (12) Good night (1135) Bad night (4651) Order T-Shirt
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.

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(405): You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up. http://tfl.nu/06n7

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(315): View more from New York

I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do

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(315): I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do http://tfl.nu/m83n

Replies (30) Good night (3289) Bad night (1491)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.

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(586): I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life. http://tfl.nu/7ulw

Replies (15) Good night (786) Bad night (2692)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

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(217): I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them http://tfl.nu/sgxd

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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(860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552

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(928): View more from Arizona

So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.

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(928): So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something. http://tfl.nu/zx0n

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then

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(865): I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then http://tfl.nu/yugg

Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (261) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

(219): View more from Indiana

I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

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(312): You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'. (219): I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said http://tfl.nu/2r64

Replies (3) Good night (852) Bad night (511)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus

(651): View more from Minnesota

Drunk ass.

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(715): apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus (651): Drunk ass. http://tfl.nu/f50c

Replies (3) Good night (435) Bad night (252)

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