oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
