nut hugger
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
