we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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