I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
