And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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