Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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