Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
