Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
