Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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