did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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