oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
