Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
