My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Duck Duck Cougar?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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