my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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