Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
