It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
