Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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