Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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