You really coming over, don't trick.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
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So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
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We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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