Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
