I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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