he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
