his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
