i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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