im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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