arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
