I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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