So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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