she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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