i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
