Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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