i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
