Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize